With the rising cost of living and the lack of jobs, I'm sure you've heard some guy or girl joking that they're thinking of becoming a sugar baby. If you're not too familiar with the term, here's a quick explanation: a sugar baby is someone who gets into a relationship with a sugar daddy or sugar mommy and receives a little money for their company, either in the form of an allowance or a good amount of gifts.
As you can imagine, due to their peculiar nature, relationships of this type bring a lot of bad reputation. For example, many people think that sugar babies have to sleep with their sugar daddy or mommy, and that's why they are labeled as if they were prostitutes, but the truth is, that has nothing to do with it.
We asked an experienced sugar baby, Melissa, who has had enough of listening to the same old gossip, to set the record straight:
UNDERSTANDING SUGAR RELATIONS
P: Hi Melissa, thank you so much for being here! Today's topic is: Do sugar babies HAVE to sleep with sugar daddies? Maybe we could start by helping our readers understand how this sugar dating thing works.
Melissa: Thanks for having me! Look, sugar relationships work more or less like a normal relationship, only the sugar babies get a wool for their time. The breed always thinks that because of this we are obligated to do whatever the sugar daddy wants.
I can tell you that in my 4 years of being a sugar baby, I have never been forced to do something I don't want to do. I always have the choice. This is because sugar relationships are based on mutual agreement and consent.
It is also important to know that there are different types of sugar relationships, with different arrangements. Some just get together to talk and keep each other company, some are just online, and some do include some kind of sexual favor. It's not black and white.
The question of whether Sugar Babies should sleep with Sugar Daddies can be confusing. For more information on the dynamics of these relationships, see the limits of sugar dating.
"Simply put, the sugar baby and the sugar daddy agree together on the terms of their relationship."
DISMANTLING MISCONCEPTIONS
P: So, sex is not something that is forced in sugary relationships?
Melissa: Haha, that's a common misconception! Many people think that sugar babies don't have a say, but the opposite is true. From the beginning, we are clear about what we want and what we don't want. Before you agree to a relationship, both you (the sugar baby) and the sugar daddy should talk and be clear about what you want and what your boundaries are.
If what the sugar baby wants matches what the sugar daddy is looking for, and there is a mutual understanding, then the relationship begins.
P: So, don't all sugar daddies want sex?
Melissa: No! Most of them just want someone to chat with, to accompany them to events, dinners, or even on business trips. Makes life less boring for them, I guess. Of the sugar daddys I've met, I'd tell you that 4 out of 10 have mentioned sex as a requirement.
Understanding the expectations of a sugar relationship can clear up a lot of doubts. Read the differences between normal dating and sugar dating for a more complete perspective.
THE IMPORTANCE OF CONSENT
Melissa: Sugar relationships depend a lot on consent. If you run into a sugar daddy who wants sexual favors and you're not into that plan, just tell him and keep looking. Over time, this can become very enriching.
Not only are you learning to set your own boundaries, but you're also learning more about yourself in the process. These are essential skills you need if you want to live a full life, your way.
NEGOTIATING BOUNDARIES
P: You talk a lot about setting boundaries, can you share some tips for new sugar babies on how to do this effectively?
Melissa: Of course it is! Boundaries are important in everything. How to set them is quite simple: you have to communicate them clearly. In sugar relationships, you're expected to do this from the start, so don't miss that opportunity. You don't need to give a reason; just say it doesn't align with what you want. You may have a hard time saying it at first, but with practice, you become an expert!
With my current sugar daddy, who I've been with for about a year, he just wanted companionship, which is why we started the relationship. But after we got to know each other better, spent more time together and formed a stronger bond, sex naturally came into the conversation.
Only after we both agreed to take it to the next level did we start having sex. If you think about it, it's pretty much the same as a "normal" relationship. Two people meet, go out and after a while, a romantic or sexual attraction arises.
ALTERNATIVES TO PHYSICAL INTIMACY
P: Thanks for sharing so openly about your experiences! That's an interesting perspective and I've never looked at it that way - are sugar relationships like normal relationships then?
Melissa: Yes! In fact, I like sugar relationships better because there is no beating around the bush. I've had several traditional relationships where we never talk about anything. It's only after years of dating that we realize we're not a good match - it's a lot of time wasted with the wrong person and you don't even get anything out of it!
At least with sugar relationships, not only do you get paid, but you also learn a lot for life. Throughout my experience, I have grown in many ways, both in my personal life and in my career.
"You don't hear much about this side of sugaring, but sugar daddies are often like mentors as well. Because they are often more experienced people, they have a lot of life stories to share."
Whenever I'm stuck with a problem at work or in life, I always ask my sugar daddy for advice, who gives me new perspectives and helps me handle the situation. I love hearing his stories and learning new ways to deal with life's challenges. As you can see, sugar relationships can be fulfilling and they don't have to involve sex!
P: Thank you for being so honest with us; we have learned a lot. Is there anything else you would like to add to close our interview?
Melissa: Thank you for giving me the opportunity to set the record straight! For a sugar relationship to work well, remember these three values: consent, boundaries and open communication. This, along with knowing yourself, is the key to maintaining this unique dynamic.
I'm really sick of hearing so many rumors about sugar babies, but after having several such relationships, you realize that they are just misconceptions from people who don't even know what it's really all about.
"Believe me: ignore those who criticize and dare to try it for yourself! You have more to gain if you try, instead of listening to false stories and missing out on the life you want."
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