Ah, first dates. Dating a stranger that you may or may not click with is part of those social anxiety nightmares, but how exciting it is at the same time!
Each first date is unique, but the essence is always more or less the same.
You agree to meet in some public place, preferably with lighting that is dim enough to create a cozy atmosphere, but not so dark as to be too dark.You may not be able to see your date well.
First dates can take many different paths. Some are full of laughter, natural banter and intense stares. In fact, those are the ones that stick in the memory as the best first dates and lead to date number 2.
Then there are the awkward first dates, the ones where the awkward silence feels heavier than the background music, and all you want is for it to end before you explode with nerves.
Not to discourage you or put fear into you before your date, but this last scenario is the most common first date scenario. It's what happens when you put two strangers in the same place who know nothing about each other.
In those moments, a little preparation is key. To help you prepare for your date, here's a list of the best first date conversation starters (including a few flirty conversation starters) that will help you avoid those awkward silences. Come on!
The best topics to start a conversation on a first date
How was your day?
Simple, but effective.
First, you show interest in what their day was like. Second, you get a little piece of their life, which allows you to identify common ground or see if there is a small connection between you. Third, the response opens the door to a flow of conversation from both sides as the date progresses.
What do you do on weekends?
If the date goes well, you will probably spend a few weekends with that person.
This question not only helps you discover your date's hobbies and interests, but also gives you an idea of what those weekends together might be like.
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And if you like their weekend plans, it could be the perfect opportunity to propose the next date!
If you could travel anywhere right now, where would you go?
I'm sure you have your own list of places you have visited or want to visit.
Ask your date this question to see if any of their top destinations match yours.
Imagine finding out that they both love the beach and have been to the same festivals without ever having met before! This is perfect for breaking the ice and keeping the conversation interesting!
Let's talk about your D...
Calm down! We mean your drinks, don't get the wrong idea.
It's an easy way to start a conversation when you're out of ideas. Is your date more of a cocktail person? A beer lover? Or a coffee fanatic?
This question may also give you a clue for your next date: coffee or bar tour? Why not both?
What's something I wouldn't guess about you?
Naughty, sassy and a great question to break the ice even more.
Whether it's a tattoo they regret or a weird taste, this question can go both ways. Your date is free to share as much or as little as they want.
How they answer this question will also give you an idea of how the date is going.
What's the bravest thing you've ever done?
First dates are intimidating. Whether you're brave or experienced, you're still going to be nervous.
Asking your date about a courageous moment in his or her life can help ease nervousness and give him or her a boost of confidence.
Soon, the conversation will flow more smoothly and there may even be longer eye contact.
Who are the 3 most important people in your life?
These could be the people you'll be spending time with if the date goes further. Wouldn't you like to meet them?
It will also let you know if your date has an active social life, if he/she is a family member or if he/she prefers to be alone.
What kind of music do you like?
Music is an important part of most people's lives.
If you're the type who creates playlists for every occasion, you'll want to know if your date has the same taste in music.
And if you don't have it, maybe it's an opportunity to approach and show you a new musical world.
Are you a dog person or a cat person?
Whether your date prefers dogs or cats may tell you a little about their personality.
According to one study, "dogs" tend to be more energetic and extroverted, while "cats" are calmer and more introverted.
And who knows, maybe the person in front of you doesn't even like animals! Either way, now you know.
Any bad dating experience?
Mentioning exes is a mistake, but laughing at failed dates is something else.
Laughing together about bad past experiences can relieve the pressure you both feel before the date.
There's nothing like remembering that time you thought your date was going to kiss you, and you closed your eyes only to realize he was just pulling something out of your hair.
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Is there anything you don't eat?
Food is life. Sooner or later, this topic will come up.
It is helpful to know if your date has any dietary restrictions to avoid awkward moments during dinner.
In addition, it will also allow you to see if there are any ethical or lifestyle differences between the two of you.
You won the lottery! How would you spend it?
How your date answers this question can give you an idea of his level of maturity and what he really values.
Would you spend it on frivolous things or invest it in something meaningful? Does it match your goals and aspirations?
What is your dream job?
Not everyone is lucky enough to work in what they have always dreamed of.
Your date will appreciate it more if you ask them about their dream job than the typical talk about the current job (how boring!).
This also shows that you are interested in learning about their personal and professional interests on a deeper level. Also, talking about dream jobs is often more exciting than talking about everyday work.
Any pet peeves?
Everyone has something that bothers them. Some are reasonable, such as chewing noises or people walking slowly.
And then there are the more specific and weird ones, like not being able to stand hairy fruits or that his name is misspelled - it's MIGUEL, not MIGUELITO!!!!
Once this topic comes up, you can learn to avoid those hairy fruits or misspell their name in the future.
Do you have any exciting projects?
Maybe your date has her own podcast or a cooking channel on Instagram with over 100,000 followers!
That's great and definitely something you'll want to know!
And if you don't have anything going on right now, maybe you can start an exciting project together!
See what the couple next door is doing
Gossip can bring people together faster than anything else, but don't be too mean.
Imagine hypothetical scenarios about what's going on at a nearby table - that's always fun!
Or keep things light by talking about resemblances, e.g., "Doesn't that guy look like Gael Garcia?" or "Doesn't that lady look like Salma Hayek?"
If it turns out to be Gael, great! If not, at least you will have relaxed the atmosphere a little and, hopefully, also the nerves. All while keeping the conversation flowing.
You can even extend this topic to the world of celebrities in general. It is always a light and easy topic to fill any awkward silence.
Are you more of a talker or a listener?
Unfortunately, in dating you don't have a lot of options if you don't want the conversation to die down. You'll also want to get to know the person in front of you as much as possible.
Then, use our list of the best topics to start a conversation on a first date above to get some tips and inspiration for your next appointment.
Always remember! It doesn't matter if you accidentally said something dumb (or two) on your date, there's probably someone who said something even worse!
Need help setting up an appointment?
Visit Sugarbook today to put your new conversation skills into practice.
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